Yet still –

It’s a feeling I doubt will ever fade.

The sad truth is, Limerence is unwanted and yet I cannot let go. With all my knowledge.

No matter how much you are despised, how you take pains to avoid them –

You still feel like searching. It feels like a home that you never had that isn’t yours. It just feels like a friend’s house, full of love, jokes, happiness, security… that feeling is so connected to that person and you can’t let go.

Even though I want to so badly be normal and not such a freak.

I’m embarrassed of myself and been an embarrassment. But what can I do? I don’t know. I’m just trying to find a way to move on!

I just hope one day I can create the things in my mind, express myself creatively as my way of coping, or finding some semblance of catharsis.

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