It’s a feeling I doubt will ever fade.
The sad truth is, Limerence is unwanted and yet I cannot let go. With all my knowledge.
No matter how much you are despised, how you take pains to avoid them –
You still feel like searching. It feels like a home that you never had that isn’t yours. It just feels like a friend’s house, full of love, jokes, happiness, security… that feeling is so connected to that person and you can’t let go.
Even though I want to so badly be normal and not such a freak.
I’m embarrassed of myself and been an embarrassment. But what can I do? I don’t know. I’m just trying to find a way to move on!
I just hope one day I can create the things in my mind, express myself creatively as my way of coping, or finding some semblance of catharsis.